I'm an Aunt...Again!!!

It appears that my sister, Krista is having a baby hamster.

(due August 16th)

Bull Shit

Its going to be a long week.

Taking Class out of Cake

If you are in the market for a naughty cake, look no further than to my friend, Jenn who has taken the proverbial bachelorette party penis cake to a whole new level when she made “Garden of Penis”.

Not to be outdone is her “Penis of the World” cake that she did for Melissa’s bachelorette.

Please note the confetti in the Mexican penis’ moustache “because Mexicans like to party”



Nice work Jenn. Way to help keep it classy.

Chocolate for Dinner and Spring Awakening

Last night Heidi and I went to the second to last performance of Spring Awakening on Broadway (quite good, btw). But on our way there we went to the Ritz Carlton Chocolate Bar for the preview party of what they call “chocolate carnival”. It was just that. A chocolate ferris wheel, chocolate roller coaster, chocolate merry-go-round, waffle and cotton candy station; all for us to sample. Of course we made dinner out of the heavenly desserts, not to mention the chocolate martinis and champagne.

Friendly Advice for Girls in Dresses

With a wind chill temp of 5 degrees this week get a pair of the crotch-high socks at American Apparel. (Thanks Kat for recommending them. I now own 3 pairs.) Wear them over tights or wear them alone; either way I’m calling them the next generation of long underwear.

Recession Dining

I saw this on my way home last night. Had I not already had dinner plans with Jamie at a not-so-recession-priced Café Charbon, I would have stopped.

You Can Take the Girl Out of Texas...

On Sunday Suzanne, Donna, Kat and I crashed my work’s box at MSG for the Professional Bull Riders.
Granted, not as funny as the Truckee, CA rodeo I grew up going to where the opening prayer said “at the pearly gates God would say ‘welcome, cowboy your entry fee is paid’” but it was still hilariously filled with angry bulls, chaps, manure, Coors Light and foot-longs, all right here in the middle of Manhattan.

(I sadly look a lot like Melissa Etheridge in my Grandpa’s old pearl snap shirt.)

Marisol Returns and Suzanne Dances

After too much Sunday sangria day drinking, Suzanne, Erika, Lisa, Marisol and I went to tapas at Pipa. The last time I ate at Pipa I swore it off since a cockroach fell from the ceiling, but I was happy to return. Lobster paella, rioja, bacon-wrapped dates, and live music.
Suzanne did the honors of dancing with the pictured adorable yet sweaty man. Then he called me ‘chicken’ when I refused him.

LES Bar Crawl

I haven’t been on an official bar crawl in years. But Donna’s friend Katie coming to town brought a 10 LES bar agenda for Friday night. Good times happen when Katie is around.
You learn, for example:

A penis pump can be used on your face

Dancing in alone in a bar can lead to C-List celebrity nerds to join in
(and who knew that the Kenneth from 30 Rock, Rachel Dratch, and the stalker from Flight of the Concords are friends)

One can have a lot of fun with a pair of glasses and wine served in a cup and saucer

Happy New Year

This year’s New Years Eve was one of my favorites to date. I went to BYOB sushi dinner with Donna and Kat then went to Max Fish. It was no-nonsense, low-key, and all just a few blocks from my warm apartment on a zero degree night.

Not Being a Pervert...

I'm a sausage connoisseur. I didn't know it until this week, but I am. I went with Max to a new Austrian restaurant called, Café Katja where we had Bratwurst and Bernerwurstel (prosciutto-wrapped and cheese-filled sausage). An hour after dinner I swore off sausage through 2010.
(pictured is Max and I before the inevitable sausage coma)

Then yesterday morning I ate the best kolache that I have ever had; not just any kolache, but a jalapeño cheddar kolache. Donna brought it back from Texas. It was at least 2 days old when I ate it and still it was the best I’ve ever had. One can only imagine the delicious goodness that such a kolache would taste like fresh out of the oven. Its perhaps the reason why some Texans never leave the state.

Brokeback Bar

Strangely enough, one of the highlights of my Christmas weekend in Texas was the night that I went with Rob, his brother Ronnie, and Doug to Round-Up Saloon. Who knew that the worlds best themed gay bar was in Dallas? Its like Brokeback Mountain only gayer. The bartenders wear jeans, big buckles, cowboy hats and no shirts. There's a dance floor with men line-dancing flamboyantly and two-stepping with each other. The TV monitors play a slideshow of pictures of bull riders and roping cattle.

The pictures don’t do it justice. (I was too embarrassed to be taking pictures in an obvious way) Doug and I had our mouths wide open with strange glee, deciding that its our new Graceland.

Come and Get It

This is what I consumed for lunch at Babes Chicken House in Texas. It might have something to do with why its such a fatty state.

Of course, I had no trouble eating it. As Oscar Wilde said, I can resist everything except temptation.

Bettie Crocker has Nothing on us

I think that it’s a clear sign that you spend too much time in a bar when holiday gifts are exchanged.
Regardless, Lisa came over last night and we decorated sugar cookies to give to the bartenders at Marshall Stack.

What Goes In...

Last night I went to BYOB dinner with Marissa, Lisa, Suzanne, Kara and the other Erin.
BYOB with what Lisa 'Big Time' Benson calls “small bottles” of champagne (normal sized bottles. Big Time is used to magnums), vodka and lots of wine.
After dinner we went to Bond Street where Marissa, Darius and I polished off the bottle of vodka.

All this to say that I just threw up.
At work.
Where my co workers shit.
That's where I put my face.

Ouch the Owl

I just had sushi with Kelsey and her new friend ‘Ouch’ (she named him Ouch because apparently it hurts like hell to get a tattoo on the top of your foot)

White Christmas After all

Yesterday I didn't wear a jacket when I went out to get to lunch.

This is what is out my office window today.

Do Not Touch

I see this woman most mornings in Starbucks.
She's less than friendly and clearly would like to keep people from touching her many Duane Read bags.

I Heart Steak

Last night I joined 3 other carnivores Suzanne, Erika and Deena for dinner at Angelica's Kitchen in the East Village. We chose this restaurant because it was on a BYOB list and neither of us had been. None of us had been because its vegan. I'm fine eating vegetarian but not vegan. No eggs, so no pasta. No milk, so no butter on the dry bread. The food was less than impressive and smelled like a homeless woman, but we enjoyed the absurdity of 4 meat lovers trying tempeh, burdock and kamut for the first time.

I did love their reasoning for being cash-only though (pictured)

Blazy: –adjective. Averse or disinclined to blog, activity, or exertion; indolent.

Lately I’ve been as my friend Jenn coined; blazy. Its not that I haven’t been up to no good or encountered stories of hilarity. Its just blaziness.

Dottie gets credit for bringing me out of my blaziness.
This lady that I work with, Dottie (she's this little old black lady... She one of my favorites) anyway, she came up to my desk and said, "Are you getting any wood in your stocking for Christmas??"
Me: "What do you mean??"
Dottie: "Wood!! I know you must have a man... Are you going to get some big hard wood in your stocking?"

She's like 70 years old!! I have never laughed so hard in the office.